Happy Me

When I think about “Happy Me” my mind races back to you.

It races back to our time together.. Our disagreements and all of our memories. “Happy Me” is playing in snow, laughing out loud.

My mind floods with pictures I have cherished since the beginning, I remember your kisses and your laugh. My mind gets stuck on your eyes, your smirk, you making fun of me. My mind gets stuck on you, for days at a time.

When I think of “Happy Me” I get sad because Happy Me, she is still head over heels in love with you. “Happy Me,” she’s not over you – how am I supposed to be “Happy Me” again when she isn’t happy anymore?

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Love is easy

I don’t care what anybody says. Its not hard to be loyal. Its not hard to be faithful. Its not hard to treat someone right. Its not hard to give someone reassurance. Its not hard to stick to one person. Its not hard to acknowledge someone’s worth. Its not hard to NOT break someone’s heart.

It’s exhausting loving someone and treating someone with their best interest at heart but when do you put your best interest first?

When do you say enough is enough, when do you stop giving so many extra chances?

I’ll always give you my best shot, I’ll always give you 110%. I’ll always give you everything I can but if it starts to seem like a one way relationship or it’s always me trying to make it work. I can’t promise you I’ll stick around.

If I’m giving you my attention and time and I’m involving you in my world or at least attempting to…I am doing it because I want you to be a part of my life, because I want more with you.

Everyone says “I’m not like the rest.” The thing is though I’m not, you just have to give me the chance to prove it. You’ve got to give me a real chance!

Just some thoughts I need to put down.

Pages turn, chapters end and those endings NEVER come out how you would’ve thought or expected. True colors can be the greatest or the worst experience in your life, people you thought you knew; you discover they’re somebody completely different. Time changes everyone, some for better and others for worse. Lessons get learned whether you’re ready to be taught or not.

Britt

This next girl I met through social media. Britt is this stunningly and smoking hot girl who has thousands of followers, I was crushing on her for a good while. She has a bunch of tattoos and the way her smile is so infectious was just mind blowing. Her voice was this raspy but sexy tone and her laugh, I’d do anything to hear it when we spoke. I got the chance to get to know her a bit before she ghosted me, she was a kind and beautiful soul who had been through some rough shit and I wanted to continue to get to know her more. I kept trying to reach out but after 3 days, I let it go.

A little bit over a year went by before I spoke to her again, it was like she came out of nowhere. I was just going through a break up and so was she, we were each other’s ears to listen to. She lived in Tampa and was willing to drive down for the Holiday weekend, I was nervous as hell but super excited. (I hadn’t met her in person yet.) She got in town and I showed her around a bit, it wasn’t awkward or anything at all to my surprise. We ended up going out that night for drinks with a few of my friends, she fit right in and it was kind of surreal in the aspect of the fact that I hadn’t had a day where my ex didn’t cross my mind until that night with Britt.

We had an amazing night out, several drinks and plenty of laughs. We had a heart to heart talk about both of our break ups and I just genuinely felt closer to her in a matter of a few hours. We got home and as we laid down, she placed her head on my chest. I played with her hair for a bit while we kept talking, she was slowly turning her face up towards me when I leaned my head down to meet hers. I sat up some to kiss her, my hand gently resting under her jaw line I pulled her closer into our kiss.

Continue reading “Britt”

Only Human

“Being a good person does not depend on your religion or status in life, your race or skin color, political views or culture. It depends on how good you treat others.”

Everything nowadays seems to be about race, culture, religion, body image and popularity. Everyone strives to be “insta famous” or “go viral.” When the world and the human race needs more kindness, more understanding and all around more love. The world needs more GOOD HUMANS.

Do you demonstrate love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, humility, patience, faithfulness, self control, consideration, integrity, dignity and accountability. Do you walk in forgiveness and understanding of others. There are few people today who fall into any of these categories and if you find one, run with that person because that person is positive and someone you can always count on as not just a true friend but a good human.

No one is perfect, no one is consistently any of these qualities above but everyone can try. If everyone tried a little harder every day to even be just a decent human, this world we all live in, this world we are raising kids in would be an even more beautiful place than it already is.

BE A GOOD HUMAN IN YOUR OWN WAY

At the end of the day, you are the one who people will always be thankful for because their lives wouldn’t be the same without you.

Don’t forget we are all ONLY HUMAN!

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Rx

You are cunning, baffling and powerful.

You caught me by surprise, you pretended to be my friend and my lover all in one.

You gave me comfort, you were there when I was lonely. When I didn’t want to go on any longer, there you were.

You made me hurt and cry but would then make me so numb I wouldn’t be bothered by the two. You allowed me to stop feeling completely. You were an instant gratification.

You made me popular, we were the life of the party. Everyone wanted to be with us.

I never believed anyone that said you would destroy me, hurt me and have the potential to kill me. Heart attacks kill, car crashes kill, cancer kills. You kill.

You didn’t kill me though, you temporarily drained me. You emptied my soul and changed who I was. I can’t explain it or excuse it but I own it. I own all of my mistakes, all of my wrong doings and all of my truths.

I don’t know how many times I said “this is my last time.” It’s way too many to count, there is no explanation or grand revelation. All that matters is I’m better now, I’m not cured but I’m better.

Live your story

c98874e97b0ce1ee881c20cab02093b5.jpgThis post is for two people that have inspired me to follow my dreams and stay true to myself – they don’t know I’m posting this yet.  Hell, come to think of it, they probably don’t even realize the impact they’ve had and continue to have on my life. 21314511_10207768769736647_4783417539114336144_nFirst and foremost is Dar. (IG: lularoe.darnellbrunt)  She is a hard working mom and wife who has grown her business to be such an inspiring and amazing one in such a short amount of time.  She does what she loves, truly.  She is always available whenever you need her and she is one hell of a mom.    Then there is a newer friend of mine I have met through a hot yoga studio – well it’s actually HER hot yoga studio.  Dom has created a safe haven for living and healing.  CASA D HOT YOGA is where I found serenity and a place to ground and humble myself.18057144_1683640598605803_3938534131745465608_n.jpgSo don’t just live your life but live your story, live for your dreams.  Everyone has their own story, if yours is selling Lularoe or becoming a yoga teacher and opening your own yoga studio – by all means do it!  If it’s writing a book or starting a blog – DO IT!  Why wait, do it now, take the chance because when you look back, you’re going to see all of your success you have had so far or what success you could’ve had if you started when you originally intended to.