Happy Me

When I think about “Happy Me” my mind races back to you.

It races back to our time together.. Our disagreements and all of our memories. “Happy Me” is playing in snow, laughing out loud.

My mind floods with pictures I have cherished since the beginning, I remember your kisses and your laugh. My mind gets stuck on your eyes, your smirk, you making fun of me. My mind gets stuck on you, for days at a time.

When I think of “Happy Me” I get sad because Happy Me, she is still head over heels in love with you. “Happy Me,” she’s not over you – how am I supposed to be “Happy Me” again when she isn’t happy anymore?

Advertisements

Love is easy

I don’t care what anybody says. Its not hard to be loyal. Its not hard to be faithful. Its not hard to treat someone right. Its not hard to give someone reassurance. Its not hard to stick to one person. Its not hard to acknowledge someone’s worth. Its not hard to NOT break someone’s heart.

It’s exhausting loving someone and treating someone with their best interest at heart but when do you put your best interest first?

When do you say enough is enough, when do you stop giving so many extra chances?

I’ll always give you my best shot, I’ll always give you 110%. I’ll always give you everything I can but if it starts to seem like a one way relationship or it’s always me trying to make it work. I can’t promise you I’ll stick around.

If I’m giving you my attention and time and I’m involving you in my world or at least attempting to…I am doing it because I want you to be a part of my life, because I want more with you.

Everyone says “I’m not like the rest.” The thing is though I’m not, you just have to give me the chance to prove it. You’ve got to give me a real chance!

Those Blue Eyes

I don’t think you realize how easy it is to fall into the oceans that are your eyes. They stop me in my tracks and take my breath away, the way the light hits them sometimes I drown in the waves of those oceans.

Getting lost in your eyes is the equivalent of getting lost at sea, I don’t know which way is home. Truth is, your eyes were home for me and now that I don’t have your eyes the way I used to, I don’t know which way to go. I’m lost at sea with no compass, no map and without your eyes.

Somedays I think I’m better off just staying lost out at sea because what if no ones eyes have this impact on me. What if there’s never another you, never another set of blue eyes like that.

Only Human

“Being a good person does not depend on your religion or status in life, your race or skin color, political views or culture. It depends on how good you treat others.”

Everything nowadays seems to be about race, culture, religion, body image and popularity. Everyone strives to be “insta famous” or “go viral.” When the world and the human race needs more kindness, more understanding and all around more love. The world needs more GOOD HUMANS.

Do you demonstrate love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, humility, patience, faithfulness, self control, consideration, integrity, dignity and accountability. Do you walk in forgiveness and understanding of others. There are few people today who fall into any of these categories and if you find one, run with that person because that person is positive and someone you can always count on as not just a true friend but a good human.

No one is perfect, no one is consistently any of these qualities above but everyone can try. If everyone tried a little harder every day to even be just a decent human, this world we all live in, this world we are raising kids in would be an even more beautiful place than it already is.

BE A GOOD HUMAN IN YOUR OWN WAY

At the end of the day, you are the one who people will always be thankful for because their lives wouldn’t be the same without you.

Don’t forget we are all ONLY HUMAN!

**if you’d like to get the shirt I’m wearing or any other shirts, hats or stickers! Check out Only Human Co.

USE THE CODE: “OHcaylaw” for 15% off!

So this is what healing feels like..

I made everything about you for so long, that is changing now.

You were a mystery to everyone but me, I knew all of your secrets, every curve on your body and I loved that I knew it all while everyone else wondered. Now I sit here, wishing I could forget everything about you, I’m petrified that you’re an intimacy I’ll never recover from.

Opening up my soul, opening up my heart. I’m more than hesitant, I constantly avoid it at all costs. I don’t think I can take another heartbreak because when I let someone in, they end up breaking my heart worse than the previous.

I stopped letting people in, I stayed as a “hookup” for many girls for a while because it was easier than trusting them with my heart.

I let you in though, I let my walls down; I gave you all of me.

I’ve gone through so many ups and downs through this but I know I’ll be okay in the end.

This heartbreak is different than the rest though, it’s a constant ache. This is a heartbreak I won’t forget because it’s the one that made me better, I didn’t turn to other girls, drugs or alcohol to move on from you. I’ve set goals and I’m demolishing them, instead of letting this one break me, I am making my life one that a heartbreak can’t hurt any longer.

It’s time to make my life about me now.

I owe you nothing

Lying to save your own face may make you temporarily pretty, you can paint this picture of yourself as a victim and innocent but the secrets that have been hiding in the dark will come to light.  Time has a way of showing true colors, so don’t be offended by the truth when it comes out.

c6f4a9f1e47607730c13adadb374c81e.jpg

I own up to my past and my mistakes.  I own up to things I’ve done and I don’t hide who I am or was.  I respect and love people, even AFTER they have done me wrong.  You can’t let people scare you, you can’t go your whole life trying to please everyone else.  You can’t go through life worried what others think of you, what you say and how you feel.  Don’t let the judgement of others stop you from being you; because the day you change who you are for someone else, that’s the day you stop being you.  Everything I have been through, every moment of pain, hurt and happiness has molded me to the person I am today.

In writing this blog, I have found a way to not only heal but accept myself in an entirely new way.  I am learning things about myself I wasn’t even aware of.  I am proud of who I am and I am proud of who this blog is helping me become!  THANK YOU TO EVERYONE THAT HAS SUPPORTED AND CONTINUES TO SUPPORT ME WITH THIS! 

Live your story

c98874e97b0ce1ee881c20cab02093b5.jpgThis post is for two people that have inspired me to follow my dreams and stay true to myself – they don’t know I’m posting this yet.  Hell, come to think of it, they probably don’t even realize the impact they’ve had and continue to have on my life. 21314511_10207768769736647_4783417539114336144_nFirst and foremost is Dar. (IG: lularoe.darnellbrunt)  She is a hard working mom and wife who has grown her business to be such an inspiring and amazing one in such a short amount of time.  She does what she loves, truly.  She is always available whenever you need her and she is one hell of a mom.    Then there is a newer friend of mine I have met through a hot yoga studio – well it’s actually HER hot yoga studio.  Dom has created a safe haven for living and healing.  CASA D HOT YOGA is where I found serenity and a place to ground and humble myself.18057144_1683640598605803_3938534131745465608_n.jpgSo don’t just live your life but live your story, live for your dreams.  Everyone has their own story, if yours is selling Lularoe or becoming a yoga teacher and opening your own yoga studio – by all means do it!  If it’s writing a book or starting a blog – DO IT!  Why wait, do it now, take the chance because when you look back, you’re going to see all of your success you have had so far or what success you could’ve had if you started when you originally intended to.