Happy Me

When I think about “Happy Me” my mind races back to you.

It races back to our time together.. Our disagreements and all of our memories. “Happy Me” is playing in snow, laughing out loud.

My mind floods with pictures I have cherished since the beginning, I remember your kisses and your laugh. My mind gets stuck on your eyes, your smirk, you making fun of me. My mind gets stuck on you, for days at a time.

When I think of “Happy Me” I get sad because Happy Me, she is still head over heels in love with you. “Happy Me,” she’s not over you – how am I supposed to be “Happy Me” again when she isn’t happy anymore?

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Call on me

Whenever I am going through a difficult time, I may hesitate to call even my best friends because I don’t want to burden them with my troubles.  This is especially true when I’ve been going through several challenges, even repeat challenges and I start to feel like I sound like a broken record.

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It is important to remember that at times like these our friends sincerely want to be there for us whenever they can. We can always check with them to make sure it’s a good time for them before we start talking, and if it’s not a good time, we can call back at another time, or call another friend.

I know for myself that when I have a good friend, I don’t want them to suffer alone when I am just a simple and sometimes not so simple phone call away.   I want them to call me and share their sorrows with me, as well as their joys, because this is what sharing a life through friendship is about.

It is at our lowest points that we really need to rely on our friends without worrying about if we are a burden or not.   I never want anyone to feel bad about coming to me, chances are I will reassure you that I am more than happy to be there for you.  In fact, rather than feeling burdened, I always feel better when I have been able to help a friend simply by listening emphatically while they vent or cry.

Without our friends, we would be distressed to get through the tough times and celebrate the good ones. If we leave our friends out of our process when the going gets tough, our friendships can begin to feel shallow. On the other hand, when you include your friends in the full story of your life–the good, the bad, the ugly and the in between –you begin to build authentic friendships that allow us to be who we truly are.

So if you ever feel like you need an ear to listen, shoulder to cry on or anything else; call on me to be your friend.  I’ll be there.

Just some thoughts I need to put down.

Pages turn, chapters end and those endings NEVER come out how you would’ve thought or expected. True colors can be the greatest or the worst experience in your life, people you thought you knew; you discover they’re somebody completely different. Time changes everyone, some for better and others for worse. Lessons get learned whether you’re ready to be taught or not.

Those Blue Eyes

I don’t think you realize how easy it is to fall into the oceans that are your eyes. They stop me in my tracks and take my breath away, the way the light hits them sometimes I drown in the waves of those oceans.

Getting lost in your eyes is the equivalent of getting lost at sea, I don’t know which way is home. Truth is, your eyes were home for me and now that I don’t have your eyes the way I used to, I don’t know which way to go. I’m lost at sea with no compass, no map and without your eyes.

Somedays I think I’m better off just staying lost out at sea because what if no ones eyes have this impact on me. What if there’s never another you, never another set of blue eyes like that.

Running is my therapy

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I’m not the best runner but I continue to run.   Running is the alone time that allows my brain to untangle the webs that have built up in my mind over the past day or two.

Despite the pain, because it heals my emotional pain.

Despite the self-doubt, because when I’m done – I’ve conquered myself.

Despite the chaos in my life, running allows me to find peace within myself.

When I’m feeling stressed, sad, happy or I just need to clear my head – I run.

The running path is a great listener and it’s free therapy.

My favorite little saying is:  Turn your headphones on and turn the world off.

These headphones are my absolute favorite, they are Bluetooth and sound cancelling.  Amazon has a few color options and they ship straight to you!  Check them out by clicking on them below!

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Eli

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I had met Eli at a neighborhood lesbian bar, where I had been going on occasion for a couple years. The first night I laid eyes on her was out on the dance floor, this short beautiful brunette caught my eye and I couldn’t turn my gaze away. The music was loud, lights were flashing and moving all over but between the glares I could make out this smile. Jesus was her smile flawless, we ended up moving closer to each other and eventually were dancing together, as the song winded down our faces were so close I just kissed her, it was electrifying.

Continue reading “Eli”

Kristy

There was a new girl at work, Kristy. I never do well with new people normally, my patience is always thin and I don’t necessarily like change.  This one ended up being different though, over the next few months we worked together multiple times each week. It just seemed that my lust wouldn’t stop growing as I’d admire her toned body, check out her expertly applied makeup, and dream about kissing her glossed lips. At certain times of the year, our company would sponsor the local children’s hospital which meant temporarily new uniforms! For some reason, the new shirts seemed to emphasize her tits, which during one discussion she had mentioned were an all-natural D.

I did begin playfully flirting with her. Mostly because it’s my personality anyways, but with her, I couldn’t hold back the serious undertone. I was taking inventory one night and putting the liquor away and she simply stepped up behind me to reach around my side. As she did, she pressed up against me slightly. I stood there frozen, mind completely empty, until she realized our situation and pulled back with an embarrassed laugh. We joked as only women could about the situation, but I was left wet and frustrated.

A few nights later we went out for drinks after we got off of work, it was just us so I sat next to her at the bar. She had her legs crossed and her top leg was wrapped up in my leg. My hand kept finding itself resting on her thigh as we were talking and just getting to know each other on a more personal level. Kristy was telling me about her past relationship and how he was just awful to her, it was breaking my heart and all I wanted to do was kiss her but I held back. After a couple of hours we decided to head out, I walked her to her car and she had asked if I wanted to see her new place, I hesitated but accepted and followed her there. We got to her door and the dim porch light was shining as we laughed because she was buzzed and couldn’t get the door unlocked, I offered to help and she stepped to the side. First try and the door unlocked, she shot me this grin, pushed me against the wall and kissed me. I swung the door open more as we stepped inside keeping our lips together, our tongues slipping in and out of the others mouth, She took my hand and led me to the couch. She laid on top of me, our legs intertwining. She stretched out along me, stretching our arms over our heads. This pressed our breasts into each other, and she brought her leg up. I looked up at her through half-drunk eyes, and saw the same desire looking down at me. I ran my hand down her arm to her breast, squeezing it up to my mouth as I sucked her nipple in. I flicked my tongue rapidly over it and she gasped, her other hand grasping mine. I lightly nibbled it with my teeth, which made her hips ripple in pleasure, then ran my hand back up her arm before repeating the whole thing on the other side.

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After doing so, I kissed her deep and sensual before opening my eyes and gazing into hers as I kissed my way down her body. My hands trailed down her body, and I kissed all around her flat, toned stomach, my hands squeezing each of her breasts, rubbing them, teasing her nipples.

After covering her belly with kisses, I worked my way down to her crotch, dragging the blankets with me, nibbling her clit and the inside of her thighs. My hands continued working her boobs, as she kept her arms stretched over her head. Eventually, I palmed her breasts as I took my first teasing lick of her soaked slit. I could smell her arousal, and had tasted some of it on her thighs. It in no way compared to the nectar straight from the source. I drove my tongue deep inside her, my nose rubbing on her clit. She gasped, then moaned in pleasure as she began to rub her clit against my nose. I sucked hard on her vaginal opening, and her thighs clenched my head as she gave a cry of pleasure. She reached down and ran her fingers through my hair, humping my face blatantly.

I brought a hand down and began fingering her, seeking out her g-spot as I flicked my tongue rapidly over her clit. As I rubbed against her g-spot inside of her, her hips began thrusting harder and faster. Suddenly her vaginal muscles seized my fingers and her juices gushed over my hands arm, and face. It only made me more hungry for her, as I finger fucked her to another orgasm, then a third.

Finally, she pushed me away and off her, then literally threw me up to the head of the bed.  She crawled up to me and we cuddled, side by side, wrapped around each other, until we fell asleep.