Pain

 

While it is painful to forget someone, it is also painful to wait for someone but the truest pain, the toughest pain is trying to decide if you should wait or forget.

Pain will always come and go.  It is just one major component to the grand scheme of life and love.  It is in fact one of life’s great teachers, but it is necessary to move through it and not get stuck.

Pain can and will serve as a necessary teacher.

When we were children, it was natural for us to cry or throw a temper tantrum, it allowed the experience to move through us. Through the tears, yelling and crying, our emotions would flee and we would be washed clean in a sense.

As we got older we noticed and learned that expressing emotion in such a way was no longer appropriate, and so we were forced to develop coping strategies to deal with our feelings and emotions.

We may have begun bottling things up or just chose to run away from all of it.

Perhaps we fell into a state of mind that staying closed off and unwilling to try new things as it would keep us safe from any potential heartbreak, it would keep us safe from any rejection, and most definitely safe from future failures.

Pain comes with a sadistic side to it as well, no matter how well we know someone or something is bad for us; we continue to chase them, we continue to wait for them.  It leads us to have an inner war with ourselves as to why we should not let them go, why we should see what could happen.

If you’ve ever gotten a tattoo – there is a therapeutic release that occurs for some of us.  The pain brings ease, getting a tattoo relieves stress for me.  Many girls dye or cut their hair after a break up, to that I say… Screw Cupid’s Arrow; hit me with a tattoo needle!

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Non-Attachment

I’m practicing non-attachment.  Accepting what comes and allowing it to leave when it’s time.

What’s for me will be for me effortlessly.  

Non-attachment is also known as detachment, which is when someone can overcome a desire for people, places, things and concepts of life.  Through non-attachment someone will experience a perspective to life that is peaceful and freeing.  You don’t let anything “own” you, you just let go of it.

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Attachment is the origin, the root of suffering; hence it is the cause of suffering.

– The Dalai Lama

 

“Let Go” is more or less a slogan for life but once you do in fact learn to let go, there is this breath of fresh air that exhales the stress and sadness from your life (at least for me that is what happened.)

Non-attachment has brought me a sense of freedom, I practice it every day.  When something goes wrong or upsets me – I don’t get tangled in the emotions.  I have just simply learned and am still learning to let it go.  My inner peace is far to important and detachment has taught me it’s okay to let yourself let go.

I’ve noticed that recently the problems of this world create compassion in me rather than anger.  I don’t chase after happiness.  I simply enjoy it when it’s present, and release it when it dissolves.  My heart has continued to just grow bigger and bigger, I was worried I’d stop feeling love but instead I have felt it even more.

Non-attachment has freed me because I am in charge of my mind and my emotions now.

Little Humans

I am an advocate for a company called Only Human, we are a group of people that is growing – we believe that no one is on a “list.”  Whether you are Gay, Straight, Black, White or anything – that’s not what you are, you are simply HUMAN.

Many women and Men in that group have kids, they are raising their little humans with those same beliefs.  It is something that I love to see and hear about, children have an innocence to them that is something we all used to possess.  Now I’m not saying they are so innocent that they don’t see color – I’m saying they see it but they don’t have a bias to it.  They simply see another child, another mom, another grandpa. 

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Children’s innocence is pure simplicity, they are putty that can be formed and molded into whoever they will become down the road.  If you not only teach, but match your actions to the idea of equality and love rather than hatred; your child will follow suit.  They are sponges and deserve a chance at a better life than we witness and see today.  They deserve to know what is right and wrong, they deserve to learn when something is in-just.    They can’t learn though, when you aren’t teaching them.  They can’t learn when the world is already so divided.  So be a good human and treat everyone as such; there are little humans that are relying on us.

Use my code OHCAYLAW for 15% off in the Only Human shop!

 

Don’t mind me while I sob during Savasana

 

18198541_1686181698351693_3657995410615878637_n     The practice of yoga is one I am most unquestionably a beginner at and I am proud of being a beginner, I have amazing instructors and friends at the studio I go to.  During the course of a class there is a sequencing of Asanas, there’s holding of poses.. scattered with slight reflections along with the careful placement of restorative moments and then there’s the instructor who just seems to be speaking right to me; it’s like a horoscope…how do THEY KNOW what I AM going through?! It all leaves my heart gaping wide open and pulsating with emotions. “Inhale, and exhale. On the exhale, sigh ‘let…gooo…”

That phrase “let go” is purely simple but declares passionately to everyone in their own way. Whether you are genuinely happy, whether you are still in love with someone, or you’re in a job that is leading you astray, or you’re holding onto a belief, grudge or regret that is no longer serving you or if it’s all of the above…”let go,” will typically cover it for everybody.

Here in this room we have our instructor who is the guide but we do the inner work that leads to a feeling of overwhelming emotional connection with our souls. We step out of the world’s havoc and chaos, into a hot and low lit studio after a long day of being who the world expects us to be. We get to let all of the stress and anxiety go, even if it’s just for an hour.

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Last night was my first night back to Casa D Hot Yoga in almost 6 months. To my surprise I went through the entire Vinyasa class feeling stronger in my flow of poses than I had in a very long while.

Yet that moment when I stopped moving, the urge to cry overcame me like waves in the ocean and my tears started their own strong flow. I am not one who cries very easily, and most definitely not anywhere in public. I might let a tear or two out, but unless I am alone, I tend to suck it up and move on but in the silence of that room, the stillness of my body and the calmness of my mind, everything I had been bottling up and all of the tension I had left unresolved. It all over flowed and came bubbling to the surface. It felt as if I was carrying around baggage I thought I had unpacked, instead it was collecting dust and adding weight to itself that I was unaware of. That Savasana Sob was a release of anger, hurt, frustration and sadness I had been allowing to weigh myself down for months.

So if you catch yourself sobbing during your Savasana, let it happen. It’s a part of healing, it’s a part of moving on and it’s what your mind, body and soul need in that moment; let the tears flow.